Why Do Men Cheat?

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

 

1. They’re Avoiding Intimacy
“Some men cheat to avoid any real intimacy. Intimacy scares them, so they distance themselves from their wife or girlfriend by cheating on her,” says psychiatrist Gail Saltz, MD. This way they never have to fully rely on someone else, so they can’t get hurt. Yeah, it makes sense in their minds…

2. They Crave Intimacy
On the flip side, some men are searching for intimacy outside of their relationship. According sex expert Emily Morse, some couples drift apart over time and don’t communicate about their lack of intimacy. When that happens, some men think it’s easier to just cheat instead of talking about it.

M. Hamilton Stevens, Th.D.

Lack of Knowledge is Killing Black People

In the horrible days of slavery Blacks were punished if they tried to read or had possession of books. Before the Holocaust the Nazis burned books especially history books. The Bible says it best “My people PERISH because of the lack of knowledge” What type of knowledge are we lacking that is destroying us?

1. Knowledge of Self – Black youth need to know that out history didn’t start when we were herded off of slave-ships like cattle, our history is traced back to Africa where we were Kings, Queens, and warriors. I remember Richard Pryor did a skit on his short lived TV show about a group of Archaeologist that discovered a great cache of Egyptian artifacts, and Pryor played their servant….while they were examining things remarked “Wow all these drawings are of Black people”….when he said that they closed his Black behind in the  tomb with the TRUTH.
2. Knowledge of Finances and Business – Every race seems to understand this better than our people, we are a consumer race, and everyone else knows it. We don’t own a damn thing but we buy everything everyone else produces.
3. Knowledge of God – Yeah we know how to “have church”, but we don’t even know that the people in the Bible we study about were people of color. We also don’t value the power of God IN US. The same God that created the Universe is in YOU…not in a BUILDING…IN YOU!!!!

Dr. M. Hamilton Stevens

Advice my Mother Gave Me

My mother Mary Louise Stevens was a very wise woman, she wasn’t a college graduate but she LOVED education. She often bought me books to read instead of toys. I could always read very well even at a young age. She always pushed me to do well in school, I had some emotional issues growing up without a father, but my mother was a strict disciplinarian that kept me on track. The Elementary School I went to told my mother I should go to Special Ed, my mother wasn’t having it. I was made to go to Summer School TWICE by my mother. She always taught me that I had to work twice as hard as white people and even then I won’t be treated as an equal. I’ll never forget the first time I came home on leave in 1977 after Basic Training we went to Chase City Virginia to visit my Grandfather and aunts, I always looked forward to this because of the food, the church, and the hugs I got from my Aunt Myrtle. My mother was very wise she always had a visual aid to help me understand things better. She took me to a Drugstore downtown where she used to go, we had lunch, and after lunch she took me around the back where the old colored and whites water fountain was. We just stood there and stared, finally she said things have changed but hearts and minds are still the same sometimes. She said the laws made folks do the right thing but if you notice there are STILL two separate water fountains even though the signs are down. I’ll never forget that moment.

M. Hamilton Stevens, Th.D., CPRP

 

 

 

Message to The Black Man

 

 

 

I am a Chaplain in a Trauma Hospital in Camden NJ, On a regular basis I have deal with teenagers being shot, killed, overdosed, and stabbed. I usually take the mothers to see the dead bodies and most of the time there is NO FATHER AT HOSPITAL. This is the Elephant in The Room folks, our young men are often BORN without a father, LIVE without a father, and yes DIE without a father…..boys cannot become MEN without MEN to teach them. We need to stop making EXCUSES for having all of these babies out of wedlock. If you are a REAL man you will marry the woman you say you “love”….real love requires REAL commitment brothers.

Chaplain Mark H. Stevens, Th.D.